I took 8 Klonopin and then cut myself last night. All the Klonopin did was make me sleep all night, and be very woozy today. The cutting didn't help much, either.

I asked M's mom if she could keep Xander for a few days if I end up in hospital. The psych ward. Oh joy of joys. I don't want to go back, but if I don't, I'll take more pills next time, and not wake up,. I can't do that. Xander needs me. I'm living in constant pain, though. Physically and emotionally, I hurt so much I can't take it.

I'm going to have a shower, then cut myself again. After that, I will crawl into bed and hope to sleep. Yeah, right. Sleep, only to have yet another nightmare about my ex-husband. Awake or asleep, there is no escape from the pain.