There weren't 12 kids. There were four. They made enough mess to have been 12, though. A good time was had by all, I think, although my boyfriend seemed weirded out by the openly gay people, and one transgender woman, who were there. If he can't deal with people who are gay, I'll have to say goodbye to him. I have good friends who are gay, or bi. I knew them before I knew him. Hopefully, it won't come to that.

Saying goodbye to him yesterday was hard for me. He's hoping to come back in December, but we have to wait and see how things go. I really hope he can. I'm planning to go visit him next summer while Xander is in England with his father.

He's a really good kisser. I like that. My ex-husband wasn't, and I missed being kissed by someone who knew what they were doing. To be fair to my ex, I was the first girl he ever kissed, so he never got any practice before me.

I got to see my upstairs neighbours' new baby today for the first time. He's 2½ weeks old. He's beautiful, but it didn't make me wish I had one. I guess I'm getting used to the fact that I cannot have another child. Part of me will always be sad about that. I never intended Xander to be an only child. I'm too ill to go through the constant sleep deprivation of the new parent, and I don't want to go through it alone, either. Joe refused to get up with Xander at night because he had to work in the morning. It didn't matter that I worked in the evening. Being a parent is exhausting!